After talking about my rough week in the blog yesterday, I was blown away by the e-mail responses, calls and text messages I received. Many asked for a copy of the eulogy I read at the funeral. That really surprised me. I couldn't imagine printing it out and sending it to those who asked, but I thought I could put it here, on the blog. So that is what follows.
Eulogy June 27, 2014
I have known Ruthie since I
was six years old and worked with her for over 37 years. She was one of the most ethical and straight-shooting
people I knew. Most of you knew the real
Ruthie. She was so intelligent and had a
great sense of humor. This was
complimented by her positive attitude and her cheerful disposition.
Her family came first. She was extremely proud of all of them. I know she was happily married for over 50
years to a real manly-man, Lonnie.
Ruthie would tell us he could fix anything, and watching him in his yard
and around the house, I believed her.
From lawn mowers to cars to weed eaters or four-wheelers, I’m pretty
confident he never met an engine, appliance or piece of furniture he couldn’t
repair. He would share with her details
about his work at National Beef, and how loyal his fellow workers were. Lonnie would say, she never said a word about her work. He never knew when she was meeting a deadline
or dealing with something big at work.
Her confidentiality followed her wherever she went. They enjoyed many trips to the National
Finals Rodeo, quick junkets to Las Vegas, Laughlin and Dodge City, and more
recently, family vacations so they could include the grandchildren.
Ruthie swelled with pride
when talking about her children, Steve and Chad. She was so proud of them and their
accomplishments. They shared her belief
in the importance of education, and they excel in their professions. She spoke of how Chad was always arranging to
get Lonnie to a ballgame at OSU or to see the Thunder in Oklahoma City, and
Steve was constantly organizing another hunting trip with Lonnie.
Steve and his wife, Lana,
have two sons, Zach and Carson, who brought an enormous amount of joy and
energy to Ruthie’s household when they visited, which Ruthie and Lonnie made
sure was frequently. Likewise, they traveled
to Oklahoma City as often as possible.
While with Zach and Carson, Ruthie enjoyed cooking with them while
teaching and encouraging them. They both
talked about making cupcakes, cookies, cinnamon rolls, pancakes, pizza and
jello with Mimi. Carson said she would
read to him before bed, until he was old enough to read – then he read to
himself. They loved the family vacations
with Mimi and Papa, and they really liked going to Hawaii last year. Zach liked cooking inside with Mimi and still
enjoys driving the mower in the yard with Papa.
Both kids told me about the boundaries.
They said Mimi had rules. The
first two that came to mind were 1) when you were in a bathtub or a pool, you
never splashed Mimi… and 2) You boys are not to brush your teeth at the same time. (There has to be more to that story.)
Ruthie had a special place in
her heart for her daughters-in-law.
Steve’s wife, Lana, works as a physical therapist in Oklahoma City, and
Chad’s wife, Jennifer, a coach is always on the go with her team. Ruthie was constantly keeping up with the
girls and their activities as well. Not
a day went by without some mention of a family member.
Everyone knew Ruthie was an
outstanding cook and baker. She
frequently tried new recipes, and if it didn’t work, she would throw it out and
try again. She would not take defeat in
the kitchen. She loved to cook for her
family, her bridge girls, and the office.
Speaking of bridge, she loved
you girls. You know that. She came to play bridge, and you KNEW
that. Ruthie loved having bridge at her
house, and the entertaining came easily for her. She would prepare as much as possible ahead
of time, and she might make a quick run home mid-afternoon to pop the dinner in
the oven and be sure everything was set up and ready. Her organizational skills were
impeccable.
Everyone knew Friday was
Ruthie’s movie night. There were a group
of friends that had a standing date. Not
everyone could attend every Friday, but whoever was available would go. The one stipulation I knew about, was that
the movie had to be PG. No R-rated
movies. I think it was the language, but
I never questioned it. I respected it.
I think Ruthie and Lonnie
really took pleasure in being able to plan and build their house and design
their yard. Every detail of the
construction was researched and studied.
They looked forward to being able to sit on the back porch and watch the
beautiful sunsets.
Ruthie was very business
savvy. She was a serious and successful
investor. She could easily have been a
stock broker. When she had a
recommendation, people listened.
She was the office
manager. That was never a title, but
everyone knew who was running the show.
Dad expected her to do it, and he relied on her. He trusted her judgment on hiring, firing, technology,
equipment, whatever. He knew she could
do it.
For 44 ½ years, she and my
dad worked together. She loved her
work. She told her friends she would
work for free if she had to. Dad said,
“she never told me that.”
She often told how mad she got
at my dad in the first year she worked for him.
He gave her a file on a new lawsuit and asked her to draft
interrogatories and requests for production of documents. Those are pleadings that require the other
attorney to give you information about the suit. She had never done it before, and she didn’t
think she could do it. But she did – and
the rest is history. It was several
years before she told Dad how mad she was at him about that.
Ruthie was a devoted student
of the law, and she was probably the fastest speed reader I have ever
seen. She pursued and completed every
legal assistant course, program and certification available. She continued constant self education –
keeping current on the law by reading the Oklahoma Bar Journal published weekly. She would mark new court decisions she
thought my dad needed to be aware of.
At the end of the legislative
session each year, she would look at the new laws and note the ones she thought
Dad needed to read and remember.
In all those years, Dad knew
he had to have frustrated her because she thought he took too long to approve a
document or otherwise failed to meet her Type AAA expectations. But Dad doesn’t recall a single time she
spoke an angry word to him. She was the
ultimate professional. She was always
positive. She was persistent, persuasive
and prepared. She was respected by
attorneys, judges, clients and courthouse personnel. Ruthie was committed, believed in what she
was doing and that it made a difference.
Years ago, Judge Don Dale was
known for his sense of humor, as well as limerick and poetic abilities. We found this little ditty in her office.
Dear Ruthie:
I couldn’t wait for your
birthday. Too much of a challenge. Here are two non-dirty poems.
If you’re seeking a good B
herder,
Have a look at Ruthie
Schneeberger,
She also finds C’s, D’s,
Sometimes even E’s,
Unless
something or other diverts her.
Cheers for Ruthie
Schneeberger
Tho maybe you never heard of
her,
But she’s the cute little bag
Who runs the new mag
At the office of Tryon, Field
and der Führer.
Merry Christmas and Happy
Birthday -- Don Dale
(Her birthday was at the end
of March)
Ruthie never complained. She was always upbeat. Even during the 18 hour work days before and
during trials. Even when Dad would ask
her to re-do a 10th, 11th or 12th draft of a
document. Even when asked to correct the
tiniest error in a pleading.
She dealt with it. That’s what she told me to do, too. It didn’t matter what caused the problem; it
didn’t matter how difficult the situation; it didn’t matter how hard the
case. Deal with it. We fix it.
That’s what you do.
Dad thought he would
definitely go before she did. He told
her to tell people when they asked what she was going to do to tell them, “I’ll
find me a young lawyer and keep practicing law.”
Dad said she was the best
lawyer in the office. She will be missed
but never forgotten.
To her, every moment had a
purpose; and she lived every moment of the day.
