Welcome, November!

Is it really November 1st?  No, I mean, really?  The clock is ticking.  

Well, lots of clocks are ticking.

Did you remember that me and the rancher are going to be grandparents?  Did I tell you how involved the kids are allowing and inviting us to be?  Did I tell you that as fast as time is going, I am afraid it will be a long time until April?  Did I tell you that I feel a bit clueless as to how to be a grandparent?

I have had a lot on my mind.  I don't say that in a "I've got more on my plate than you do" kind-of-way, I mean it more like Plato said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  This week has been heavy for me.  Maybe I am a lightweight when it comes to stress, but I know that I am not the only person in this world, this continent, this country, this city -- that has a lot going on.   (Forgive me, my sister the English, literature, and creative writing teacher for ending that sentence with a preposition -- remember, it was you that said I could write in my own voice.)

My friend who was encouraged to get a mammogram because of one of my early October posts, finally got some answers after weeks of testing.  The answers she got were not at all what anyone wanted, but her extreme optimism has been nothing less than unbelievably upbeat and super positive.  What a tough gal.  Her spin on the negative news was that she was glad to finally know something.  She said the not knowing was the worst.  Test after test, doctor after doctor -- no one would give her answers, much less a hint or clue.  We are talking about someone young.  She is no where near the magic age of 40, when you are encouraged to start mammograms.  She is a very active, married, young mother with a busy job that she loves.  She is very far away from me.  I want so badly to be able to help her in some way, and I have assured her that the distance is not a problem.  It is important to me that she knows how much I love her.

There is an enormous numbers project that is looming at my house.  Just a yearly thing I dread.  No big deal, but it makes me want to curl up in a ball and not get out of bed in the morning.

There are other things weighing on me, but in writing this blog, I have always tried not to be Negative Nancy.  Probably so much so, that people say things to me like, "wow, I didn't know you felt that way," or "reading your blog, I never would have guessed that...".  That's kind of part of the deal when you open up your blogging can of whatever.  You can say exactly what you think about every detail of life, or you can sugar coat things, or you can pick and choose.  Guess what I do.  

Whatever I write about or say is usually a direct reflection of that particular day.  The writing reflects my mood, my outlook, my muscle aches and pains, my hair, the weather -- call it hormones, call it what you want, I'm just a girl.  Writing about what's on my mind.  Trying to reassure someone else that they are perfectly normal.  Trying to encourage someone who needs to know their value is great.  Trying to share bits of my walk through life with the reader.  Trying to let you know I am far from perfect.  Trying to let others know that I am there for them.

It is November.  My personal mantra for the month will be thankfulness.  Thanks for reading.  You make me want to keep writing.

Welcome, November!