Last month, I wrote a lot about breast cancer awareness. The
feedback was unbelievable, and I was super surprised at how many people said
things to me about mammograms like,
-I've never had one, I need to schedule, I guess.
-Yeah, I'm a couple of years behind, I better call
in.
-And what age are you supposed to start those?
I wrote about my own familiarity with the procedure, and my goal was to
present the yearly event in a way that made people who had never experienced
it, to see some of the images of the process.
I also wanted it to appear as no big deal. It just so turned out
that this year, I had a somewhat abnormal reading, one that required a follow
up visit. I wanted to show pictures of my "abnormality" and
tell about how it turned out to be only an uneventful hassle. Not
unnecessary, just inconvenient.
Here's what I never expected. Within minutes of my post going
online, I got a text message from my much younger cousin out West. In a
previous post, I referred to her as a friend, because with no real news to tell
anyone, she wasn't ready to discuss, and I couldn't have family members calling
me asking whom I was talking about. She was the one who was sobbing as
she read the post and didn't know what to do. About 4-5 weeks earlier,
she had found a lump, and she was scared to death. I immediately bounced back
to her, and said, "call your doctor now, and tell them exactly what you
told me." She did that. They had her in the next day, I think,
but the testing and scheduling wasn't exactly speedy, so it took a while to get
to where she is today. She got the undesirable diagnosis. She has
breast cancer. She is 37. What I
didn’t know was that positive was her middle name.
She has already undergone a partial mastectomy. Initial testing
(mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy), showed the tumor to be of considerable size,
between 4 & 5 centimeters, although fully contained and the lymph nodes
appeared clear. Follow up with the oncologist gave a different
interpretation. She later found out that the tumor was more like 9.5
centimeters, and they weren’t able to get it all. More tests are ordered for Monday, more
surgery will be soon following, and the path she is headed on after that is
still unclear.
The best part of her story is that from the minute she told me that it
was definitely cancer, she was unbelievably upbeat and positive. I mean,
she was more positive at that moment than I am about getting out of bed in the
morning. She feels confident. Optimistic is an understatement.
She is certain. I am so proud of her. Her life spins at about
90 miles per hour. As far as I can tell, she is keeping her normal
chaotic schedule. Maybe that's how she does it. Maybe that is her
coping mechanism.
Today, I am truly inspired and encouraged by her bravery and courage.
I don't think she sees any of it as a choice. I believe she is putting one
foot in front of the other and allowing God to lead the way. She told me that the journey this far has
been an educational one that she never knew she would need. She is already a great advocate, and I don’t
think she even realizes it.
But this day, I cannot help but continue to remember my close, close
friend, who would have been 56 years old today. Debbie passed away
8 years ago next week, and she left a wonderful legacy of servanthood, fabulous
examples of friendship, and her musical talents and beautiful voice are sorely
missed. Her battle was longer than anyone would have liked, but she was
so tough, and I learned so much by watching her fight. She pushed through
an extraordinary amount of years, months & days. She would drag me to
social events that she could have easily stayed home and skipped. I wasn’t even ill, and I didn’t always want
to go. There are empty places in my heart and in my life because she
isn't here. But I often hear her voice in my head; slightly scolding when
I need it; reminding me that I don't have to vocalize every thought that pops
into my brain; pushing me out of my comfort zone; encouraging me to support
someone else because that's what she would have done. She constantly cared for others in every sense of the word.
No one’s story ends the same. There
are things to be learned at every twist and turn. You don’t know what tomorrow brings. I challenge you to live every day as the gift that it is. Good things happen to people every day. Human beings receive miracles every day. Look for yours, and always be kind to others.
